Tasha is back.

I sat and thought about it all ever since she left.  Three days ago she called me.  I ignored the phone call at first, but i had a really bad feeling that something was wrong.  I thought about her call the entire day.  I tried convincing myself that she probably just wanted to chat.  After all we had talked that day and she knew how i felt.  But then i realized something.  No matter what i would always be her friend.  And maybe…just maybe, she needed me right now.  And i was being selfish in some ways.

So at 6 p.m. I e-mailed her.  She called me back almost immediately.  She told me what was going on.  She had been in tears because of some incident.  I quietly cursed myself for my stupidity and selfishness.  NEVER AGAIN!  I will never do such a thing AGAIN.  She had really needed me and i had pussied out.

I listened and advised, but most of all i listened.  I let her get everything she needed off of her chest.  I realize what a terrible person i have been.  Yes…I won’t be visiting for perhaps a long time…but still I am her friend.  And i find myself loving her as a friend now.

God has never abandoned me, even though right now i’m being a real asshole.  And i claim tobe a Christian, but at that moment I realized just how wrong i had been.  God is my friend and he hasn’t abandoned me, so why did i even contemplate abandoning Tasha?  Because i was so hurt and i wanted…maybe i needed to walk away.  But i can’t abandon her as a friend.  After all i am one of the good guys!

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