I sat and thought about it all ever since she left. Three days ago she called me. I ignored the phone call at first, but i had a really bad feeling that something was wrong. I thought about her call the entire day. I tried convincing myself that she probably just wanted to chat. After all we had talked that day and she knew how i felt. But then i realized something. No matter what i would always be her friend. And maybe…just maybe, she needed me right now. And i was being selfish in some ways.
So at 6 p.m. I e-mailed her. She called me back almost immediately. She told me what was going on. She had been in tears because of some incident. I quietly cursed myself for my stupidity and selfishness. NEVER AGAIN! I will never do such a thing AGAIN. She had really needed me and i had pussied out.
I listened and advised, but most of all i listened. I let her get everything she needed off of her chest. I realize what a terrible person i have been. Yes…I won’t be visiting for perhaps a long time…but still I am her friend. And i find myself loving her as a friend now.
God has never abandoned me, even though right now i’m being a real asshole. And i claim tobe a Christian, but at that moment I realized just how wrong i had been. God is my friend and he hasn’t abandoned me, so why did i even contemplate abandoning Tasha? Because i was so hurt and i wanted…maybe i needed to walk away. But i can’t abandon her as a friend. After all i am one of the good guys!