So what’s been going on since Nov. 11? I’ve been drinking like a fish and wallowing in my own misery. I had no idea what grieving and feeling sorry for myself could goad me into doing. When Sarah broke up with me I started drinking so I could feel something. I’ve always had this problem with feeling things in any sense or form. I’ve only been to one funeral where i can remember actually, truly feeling grief that the person was dead. And that was my Uncle Pete. Stacey was the first person i ever seriously mourned, and it hit me so hard. Especially after having found out a number of things that blew me away. A number of facts that made me realize that Stacey may have been lying to me for at least a year. It all hurt a lot. And i was drinking trying to help myself sort things out, and deal with my own anger. I realize now what i really need to do is go back to church. I’ve pulled away from the drinking and misery seeking so i can look upon things alot better. And hopefully i can start going ot church again soon.